A Time to Mourn

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A few days ago while talking to a friend she confessed that although she has been divorced for several years she still misses her ex. In this day and age There are plenty of men and women who are suffering the sadness of a break up ,even if it was by mutual accord.
Day by day these men and women are faced with the decision of starting a new life without their partner with whom they shared their dreams and hopes. Why is it so difficult to forget? Is it because you not only lose your partner, but your home, your family, and may even suffer economic hardship? And while everyone tells you that you will find love again and as such you try a new life and try to create a new home, the memories of the past love always haunt you.Why do we insist in remembering all about yesterday’s love?

Why do we bring the ghost of the past into our present? Are we punishing ourselves when we do this?Are we mourning? Because this recovery time is very similar to the death of a loved one, after all, that is what has happened, the death of something very dear. Do we need this time of mourning because we hope that our loved one will come back to us begging for another chance?Writing about this brings to mind a song from the 70’s that Gloria Estefan used to sing called "Regresa a Mi” which translates to Return to Me and it more or less would be translated like this…..

“How do I explain to my heart that I no longer have you, when at night with each beat it demands to know.”

I believe that more than mourning one should undergo a process of grieving.

And so I ask these questions:

How long should this process be?

Who should grieve more : The one who lost a one year relationship or the one who lost a 20 year relationship?

Who suffers more the boyfriend/girlfriend or wife/husband?

And the million dollar question. –Should you grieve" an Internet love?

I do not think there is a general pattern, each person is a universe, and each break up is a complete different set of circumstances. Some believe that a newlove can erase the hurt from the prior love, yet others feel that it is not prudent to have a new relationship until the prior hurt is gone.I will end this with a quote from the Spanish Alejandro Casona



Don't let anyone see me down,I might be dead inside and yet I am
as tall as a tree."

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